Fight or Flight, Park4Night

I've written before about how I find parkup spots on the move, the types of places I stay and how I assess them - one of the ways is Park4Night, a phone app where users tag public locations suitable for overnight parking, and review them. I have developed somewhat of a love/hate relationship with Park4Night over the course of the last 18 months - it is very handy and the concept of it is brilliant, especially when on the move in an unfamiliar area or when you just need to get off the road quickly and don't have time to do a recon on Google Maps or driving around etc. But, it has a downside, in that every location tagged draws additional attention to it, and the more a location is used by the VanLife community and casual campervanners, the increase in the likelihood of parking restrictions being implemented (height barriers, prohibitions etc) or disgruntled locals with an axe to grind taking matters into their own hands. As I have found first hand...

I've said before that the spirit of this series of blog posts is to paint a realistic picture of VanLife from the perspective of someone actually living it in reality, not a glorified social media filtered version where you only see the best bits (I am also guilty of that), so while I don't want to come across as negative or moany, I do want to be honest on certain aspects of this lifestyle. I had a Park4Night related incident last week which is a common altercation with "VanLifers", and at some point ot another will pretty much happen to everyone, so I'll give you the story.

I was working in an area of Yorkshire that I'm not that familiar with, so I arrived close to the location the night before, pulled over at the side of the road, and opened the Park4Night app - quickly found a tagged spot not far from my job - nothing fancy but a wide layby off the side off a very quiet lane through some woodland. Looked alright, so I went for it. The first night was absolutely fine, nice little spot surronded by trees, lots of dog walkers but no passing traffic and had a silent nights sleep. Woke up early, packed up, and headed off for work.

I returned for a second night, same as previously. Took Sanchez for a little walk, made dinner and listened to music. While I was on the phone to a friend, Sanchez started barking - he only does that when someone is too close to the van, so I cracked the door open to find a man just stood there. "You do realise this is private property don't you?". Heeeere we go. I told him no, I didn't, there was no signage indicating such and the lane appeared to be a public highway. The man iterated it was private property and that if I didn't leave he would call the police, I asked him if he knew who supposedly owned this lane and hr replied "I do", he told me he know the location had been marked on "some sort of app" and claimed he had clamped a campervan the previous week and charged them £600 removal. We had a short exchange of words which ended with him leaving saying "you'd better get gone quickly" which I took to be a threatening remark.

Now, there's a couple of issues with this gentlemans claims. Firstly, I don't believe for a second that the lane is private property - aside from the lack of any signage, the lane is marked on Google Maps and recorded on Street View. But lets entertain him for a second here. Firstly, tresspass is currently not a criminal offence, so it's nothing to do with the police. Secondly, private clamping was outlawed a few years ago, so if he did clamp anyone, he actually broke the law himself. Not that I believe him. From a legal perspective, there's nothing this bloke could have done to force me to move. But he clearly wanted me gone.

I picked up my phone forgetting for a second that I was on a call and my friend had overheard the conversation "fucking hell that was tense!" were the first words I heard. We had a bit of a chat about the encounter and she convinced me to just leave, not to stand my ground as some sort of point of principal, just in case he came back later in the night damaged my van. I agreed, on the basis that I had to be up for work in the morning and didn't want to spend the night listening out for every noise, so I started packing up and found a new location in the form of a public carpark. Just as I was ready to leave, I saw two figures approaching from the back of my van - the same chap had returned with a friend. I'll save you dialogue as it was quite colourful, but let's just say their intentions were very clear - l was to be sent packing with a kicking. I don't respond well to threats, I despise anyone who thinks they can physically intimidate someone to get what they want, and I'm far too stubborn and fiery for my own good, so the exchange got hot quickly, but basically it had gotten past being a claim of ownership dispute and all got a bit Mexican Standoff, with flatcaps. 

As much as I hate feeling like I ran away and they got to bully be out, I left without anything getting physical or my van getting damaged, because as much as I might have wanted to put up a stand, if it was anyone else telling me the story, my advice would have been "just leave, don't put yourself at risk, it's not worth it" so it was time to swallow my pride, call them a set of inbred cunts, and get out of there. I'm still pretty pissed at this. I don't run away.

Stay safe ✌️

One last thing...

I received quite a lot of comments and messages off the back of my last blog, which I'm really appreciative of - however one comment struck a bit of a nerve with me, and I want to address that here for clarity. I'm paraphrasing a little bit, but the tone of the comment was along the lines of "only the financially privileged can talk about not worrying about money". I cant let that go unanswered.

I am privileged. Very much so. I'm extremely privileged in many ways relevant to living how I do. I'm a white heterosexual male for starters - any hardships and struggles I face are not furthered by or a direct result of my ethnicity, colour of my skin, sexual orientation, or sex/gender. I don't generally have to worry about my personal safety, or take additional steps in protecting myself. In all likelihood, I will never be a victim of sexual assault, discrimination or targetted bigotry. There is a level of stereotyping and discrimination towards "travellers" of course, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm fortunate enough to be in very good physical health and general fitness, all things considered, for a nearly-forty year old, and I take the time to recognise and be thankful for this. I am extremely lucky to have a supportive family and network of very good friends. These are the things that I'm privileged with - I am not nor have ever been privileged financially, I have never been gifted money, I am not funded by anyone. I don't have much, I funded my van build by selling a cherished car that I'd restored and owned for a long time, and I moved into my van with no immediate income and less than a grand in savings. What I do have comes from my own sweat and blood, taking pride in being good at what I do, living somewhat frugally, and a having positive attitude towards opportunities for work. As I write this now, I have more in rainy-day savings than I ever did when living conventionally - but I don't forget that I started out with nothing (big up, Steve!).

I've spoken before about how there are two "camps" in the vanlife community - those that live in vans because they want to, and those that do because they have to, for lack of a better option. There is some animosity between the two factions a little, with a perception that those who live in vans that are... a little fancier shall we say, or furnished to a level above bare basic essentials, come from wealthy backgrounds and are being financed by the bank of mum and dad. I have no idea if there is any truth in this, I've never asked anyone how they funded their builds - but I suspect it's spite ridden bollocks. Most definitely is in my case anyway! Financially privileged?! The fucking AUDACITY! 😅

The Route (sic) Of All Evils

Ugh. I'm going to do it. I'm going to blog about something I hate, so let's just get it out of the way and have done with it. Money. I've never liked money or wanted much association with it. It doesn't motivate me, excite me, or inspire me. It certainly doesn't drive me in any way, and was never a factor in my decision to try this vanlife thing - but whether I like it or not, it is a necessary evil in the capitalist construct of, well, paying for things I want (like coffee, and rum), so as much as I loathe to talk about it, I do want to talk about the financial aspect of Vanlife and maybe expell some unrealistic dreams about the cost of living full time in a van in the UK. Spoiler. It isn't free.

Before I talk about what it costs me personally, what I pay for and how much, I'll list what I don't pay for:

• Rent/Mortgage. Obviously. I'll also add to this that that I don't (or at least, haven't yet) pay for any sort of camping. I either boondock on the move, or park on private property.

• Council Tax. On account of not residing at a physical address.

• Electricity. My electric currently comes "free" from my van engine as I drive. Soon to be my solar panels, once I fit them (shush, I'll get round to it one day).

• Water. I take the opportunity to fill up my tanks and bottles where ever I can, when I can.

• Heating. I mostly heat my van via my log burner with salavaged scrap wood from jobs and projects, and have become a bit of a timber-squirrel.

• TV License, Cable/Sky.

Straight away you can quickly put a rough figure to the realistic costs if living nomadically. Take your current outgoings, deduct the above, and you won't be far off the number. So here's the remaining what I do pay for, and how much:

• Van insurance. Currently £270 a year, or £22.50 a month, on account of being old and having a lot of no claims.

• Road Tax. £23 a month

• Mobile bill. £22 a month, unlimited data (must have)

• Pet Plan. £12 a month. Covers my dogs flea/worming and checkups/consultations. I don't have insurance for him as it's extortionate, so I keep a blank credit card for emergencies.

• Breakdown cover. £12 a month with European coverage. Optimistic!

• Netflix and Prime. Tenner (half). I split this with a mate.

Call it £100 a month all in for my fixed bills  Now obviously this doesn't factor in my two largest outgoings - food and fuel. These are both variable costs, and can be as little as £50 a month if I'm working on fixed location and food/parkup is part of the deal, or upwards of £400 a month if I'm permanently on the road and covering a lot of miles. It's also worth accounting for van maintenance, keeping on top of the servicing, fixing and mending bits, adding and changing other bits. It can add up, especially if you're paying for labour rates and the clutch shits its self. I like to average it out at £100 a month for tinkering, but we all know a big bill is only ever a bad MOT or major breakdown away!!

So there we go, that's everything. My total fixed outgoings plus my variable costs even at peak, is a substantially different figure to when I lived in bricks and worked a 9-5. When I put it like that, I can certainly see why so many peoples inspiration for wanting to move into a van and live on the road, is money and getting out of the rat race. It isnt my place to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do, however what I will say from the benefit of a little experience, is that there is so much more to living in a van - both positives and negatives - than simply cheap living, and the financial aspect in relative terms is only a minor one which I don't believe should be anyone's only major consideration. In my case, moving into a van was the catalyst for a lot of life (and lifestyle) changes, and living so cheaply afforded me the ability to make a drastic career change. Ive spoken before in previous blogs about what I used to do for (ironically termed) "living", and what I do now to pay for my life, so I wont cover it again here, but as a result of having so few financial leeches sucking me dry, I can afford to work very sporadically and put enjoyment before need - I can now take on work when and where I want to because I enjoy it, rather than needing to, and need is very subjective.

Money, as they rightly say, isn't everything.

Social Animals

Normally when I come to write these posts, I've already mentally written it out several times in my head first, as I generally have an idea what I want to write about and think about how I'm going to attempt to turn my brain-soup into words and legible sentences - I generally do this as I'm driving as my mind wanders a lot. I know what I want to blog about, I think about how to structure my thoughts, and then flesh it out as I'm actually writing it. Recently however I've been completely uninspired to really write about anything at all, because here we are again, back in lockdown, again, almost a full year in of being socially distanced and devoid of human contact. So I haven't mentally penned this blog this time, I'm just going to wing it and see where we end up. I'll apologise in advance for... whatever happens next.

Ok lets be honest here. The last 12 months has been pretty fucking shit hasnt it, pardon my French. But it has. Like, properly shit. I don't think it's been particularly fun for anyone, regardless of their normal lifestyle and personal background - but spending a full year of being severely restricted on whom you can see socially, when, and where, has taken its toll on peoples emotional well-being and mental state. A very common theme amongst "Vanlifers" is the sense of isolation and loneliness that comes with the fluid life on 4 wheels. Week in, week out, I see posts from people reaching out for company, both physically and virtually, as cabin fever kicks in. It's very evident that people are struggling. 

I don't particularly include myself in that statement, for a few reasons really, which actually make me feel quite fortunate. Firstly, and without meaning to come across as as a smug dickhead here; I chose this lifestyle, as a conscious decision of something I wanted to do as a personal adventure and change of direction, for many reasons, but the fact is I want to live like I do, and I've embraced not only the positives of #vanlife, but the negatives too - but I must remember that not everybody did. A lot of people live in vans for reasons outside of their immediate control, it's where they have found themselves as a result of external factors and not necessarily by personal choice, and those people perhaps may not be as comfortable with the sense of isolation as others, so I won't go as far as to say that feeling isolated doesn't apply to me, but I chose this. 

Secondly, the last 12 months hasn't impacted me as hard as it had for a lot of people - in the sense that it hasn't interfered with my day-to-day life all that much. I've still worked, and the work I do involves traveling around, meeting people, occasionally working directly with them, and sometimes hanging out with them socially out of hours too - I'm very lucky that the work I do quite often comes with the bonus of staying on private property, either parking up on their land or having a vacant house to myself, so I can get off the road and not have to look over my shoulder for passing police cars or vigilante pitchfork-weilding locals taking it upon themselves to "police" the parkups for day-trippers and weekend-warriors. 

Lastly, and somewhat self-assuredly, I maintain that I am my own best company, loneliness is not something I often find myself feeling - I am horrendously introverted, bordering hermit level, with social anxiety which I mask with a verneer of extroverted outbursts, which is to say I can be sociable and outgoing in doses, but I need my small quiet space and a nap afterwards. I do have a pretty wide but distant social circle and do keep in touch with my friends daily via messenger platforms and social media, and for the most part that is ample human contact for me. Plus, I have Sanchez, who I couldn't do this without.

Now, I never started this to be part of any sort of scene - I didn't even know there was a scene, and usually I'm very anti-scene - not in an elitist-douchebag hipster too-cool sense, just, I'm not generally interested in being part of any sort of club in which I identify myself by. I certainly didn't move into a van to make friends with other people who live in vans. This isn't a hobby for me, it's how I live. But, unintentionally, I have picked up a few friends along the way over the last (counts fingers) 16 months of life on the road, people I've met up and hung out with, or just chatted to and engaged with frequently online. As much as I may maintain that I don't need other people to assure my sense of self-dependency, is has been comforting to have a group of people whom I have a very significant aspect of lifestyle in common with, and they've become quite important to me - if only for the in-jokes and bants if nothing else. You know who you are.

I think if there's one positive to come out of the last year, it's the reminder that we are social animals, we need interaction with other humans, from time to time, some more than others. Be aware of this, because what lockdown has been to a lot of people, is life as normal for others - it comes with the lifestyle. This is another unspoken reality. This is "#vanlife".

✌️